A Not So New Norm

Haven Eli 5-15-14 (5)

Before the birth of our son, the most common statement I heard from people with kids was, “You have no idea how this will change your life!”

I knew that comment was true.  I knew that Haven’s birth would drop a sledgehammer on everything I thought I knew about what was important, and how our lives would unfold (both in a day-to-day and a forever sense).  And at exactly 1:19am on May 5th, 2014, the comment that I had heard dozens of times came true–our world was turned upside down in the most beautiful way possible.

But while we have been resetting all of our “clocks” to this new normal, it’s also become apparent that not everything is different.  Just because our lives have been changed forever, that hasn’t meant that everything has changed.  Oddly enough, there is a random assortment of things (surprising things even), that remain constant from my life pre and post baby.

I therefore offer, “10 Surprising Things In My Life That Haven’t Changed At All Since The Birth of Our Son”:

1)  My voice still occasionally (and without warning) morphs from a normal pitch using sane words to a high-pitched squeak laced with non-sense syllables.

2)  I still walk around with the knowledge that at any moment I might be hit with one of three not-so-nice bodily functions.  You never know when…and you never know which one.

3)  Just like pre-baby, any stretch of sleep longer than 2 continuous hours is miraculous, and any combination of 8 hours total in a 14 hour window is on par with winning the lottery.

4)  Conversations that involve the words nibble, circumcision, rash, boppy, or lactation are still the norm.

5)  Monitoring the color of someone’s poo remains one of the best ways I know to assess their health and well-being.

6)  The realization that your shirt has the remnants of someone’s lunch on it is met with a smile or a laugh.

7)  Cutting fingernails and toenails continues to be the most terrifying thing in my life.

8)  I remain cautious that a person’s smile isn’t so much about my presence or the joke I just told, but about the movement of gas within them.

9)  A loud burp in my ear is still the surest sign that I have succeeded in my task.

10)  Google retains its role as the provider of answers to life’s toughest questions:  what is the meaning of the song “Frere Jacques”?; what is cradle cap?; how do you clean out the creases of a baby’s neck?; how much will college cost in 2032?

I daily count my lucky stars that these 10 things have remained constant.

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2 responses to “A Not So New Norm”

  1. Richard Collier says :

    I love it! But I don’t think I knew of your concern and insight into a few of these before Haven’s birth… and we gotta talk about that third bodily function???!!!

  2. Richard Collier says :

    Oh, and Haven certainly fills this bill: “turned upside down in the most beautiful way possible.”

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